Tuesday, February 1, 2011
On Issues of Pride
I've begun to notice something about myself over the past couple of hours. For those of you who know me, this should not surprise you, because I am constantly discovering new attributes about myself. I've come to ascertain the real reason why I am so reluctant to take any of the medicines I have been prescribed for various mental conditions. If you don't know me, I have been diagnosed with both depression and ADD, and have been given various medicines for it. I've also been put into the emergency room (done by myself) for suicidal thoughts. Anyway, I think the real reason behind it is that it's more of an issue of pride. I'm not saying I don't want to cure my problems, don't get me wrong. It's just that if it's because of the medicine that I end up fixing my mental conditions, it just doesn't feel genuine. I'd like to be able to say I conquered my depression by myself, or I learned to focus by myself. I know that sounds childish of me, but I honestly think these are conditions I can work on without medicine because they're both attitude-based. Depression is a negative attitude, and ADD is just lack of focus. If I can train myself to focus better, as well as gain a more positive attitude towards life, I think I should be fine. I don't know, what do you guys think?
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I think Molly and Saralin will whole-heartedly agree with you on this considering what they feel of the psycho-pharmaceutical business . . :)
ReplyDeleteAs I was in a similar position, I feel conquering personal issues on your own is not impossible, but it always helps to have people to talk to and discuss these things with. Maybe medicine is extreme, for people who cannot survive in society without some sort of medicative state ( if this be the case, I wonder if Social Darwinism comes to mind in your noggin, haha ) it could be acceptable, but I really think these minor issues are easily manageable and truly help you become a very mentally strong individual. Without experience, you essentially run on nothing but theory and predictive, premeditative bullshit that you're never sure of.
I agree with you and Joseph. If you are sure that your problems are attitude based, the way to fix it is to change your attitude. Joseph is right, cognitive-behavioral therapy is advised. Changing by yourself is so hard, SO hard. I would never expect that of anyone, and there are so many people who are trained and ready to help you help yourself. However, in the meantime, medicine might make it easier to change those deeply ingrained thought and behavior patterns. I took meds for many years, and then one day, I found I was healed and I stopped. There is no shame in asking for and receiving help. In fact, it is a great skill that many people lack.
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